So, because of the ol' Twitter addiction late last week I finally heard about the Do Some Damage Beach House Flash Fiction Challenge. Talked to Steve Weddle and he said, sure, I could throw my hat into the ring. Kind of fractured state of mind for me actually, I mean, I am actually at the beach for the next few weeks in a real beach house. Hobbled together a quickie based on an incident last year in Cape May...so, between hanging out with Miss New Jersey contestants (TV theme boardwalk parade left...Charlie's Angels...me and my friend Bobby with Miss Gloucester County--Kate Bozzelli in a black '68 Cadillac...), reading, catching the hip high waves, and watching the clouds drift by overhead...I punched out the story below. Don't think it's really worthy, but maybe there's a runner-up copy of FUN & GAMES from Duane Swierczynski. Duane is doing a reading here at the Ocean City, NJ Library on the 27th and it would be pretty sweet to have an advance copy. Whatever. I'm going for a bike ride down the boardwalk to Mack & Manco's for a slice and birch beer, you guys do whatever the hell you want. Onward.38° 59' 30" N / 74° 48' 54" W
-Dude…
…
-Dude, what’re you doing?
-Shh.
-Is that a smart phone?
…
-When did you get a fuckin’ smart phone, dude?
-It’s not mine. It’s Courtney’s.
-Courtney’s?
-Yeah.
…
…
…
…
-Almost done.
-Done with what?
-Just shut the fuck up.
-Fuck you, dude. Don’t tell me to shut the fuck up. D’fuck’re you doing with Courtney’s smart phone anyway? Y’know, Courtney could walk back in here any second and freak out.
-Please. Courtney is so wasted she doesn’t even know what day it is.
-I hear that.
…
-It is a pretty wild party.
…
-What’re you doing anyway?
-Sending a text.
-From Courtney’s phone?
-I’m telling you, every day I am overwhelmed by your genius.
-What’s that supposed to mean?
-Nevermind. Remember that that douchebag Courtney was hooked up with last summer? The one with the tricked-out Toyota 4Runner?
…
-Asian-looking poser rolled up at T-Monkeys’ barbecue with those stuck-up Hill School stoner fags thinking they were all that and shit?
-Vaguely.
…
-Last summer I was pretty messed up most of the time.
…
-Kind of looked like Harold from Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle?
-Wait. Yeah, Jimmy something, right?
-Jerry Choi.
-Ohh yeah. Jerry Choi. Chinese dude.
-Half Korean.
-Yeah, okay, what about him?
-I saw Choi on the beach today.
-So?
-So Choi was way into Courtney.
-A lot of guys are way into Courtney, man.
-No, I mean, I remember Courtney really bitching about how this Choi dick got all twisted when she told him she wasn’t looking for a serious boyfriend last year. Dude, like, practically stalked her for a while.
-Man, that’s just so sad.
-I know, right?
-Freakin’ pathetic.
…
-So, what’s the deal with Choi?
-Choi is loaded.
-Uh…so?
-The way I heard it his folks, like, have a vacation house on some island down in the Caribbean and always do two weeks in Jackson Hole every winter. Fucker lives in, like, a gazillion dollar place out on the Mainline and got into Penn early admission because his old man donated a new lab to the medical school or something.
-Big bank.
-Exactly.
-Fucking Asians.
…
-So, what d’fuck does that got to do with anything, dude?
-I’m sending him a text from Courtney to meet her later on the beach. Choi will think it’s from her. Stupid puppydog will go truckin’ out there at, like, three in the morning.
-Three a.m.? D’hell? Why?
-That’s the best part.
-What?
-That’s when we’re going to rob him.
********************************************
-Hey, Jocelyn.
-Bob.
-Radiology just dropped these off.
-Uh-huh.
-Zygomaticomaxillary complex fracture, eighteen-year-old male.
-Car accident?
-Nope. Mugging.
-Really? A mugging?
-Couple of kids jumped him apparently.
-Pipe?
-Brick.
-Brick?
-Brick.
-Nasty.
-Good-bye yellow brick road…thick as a brick…she’s a brick…house.
-Think you skipped one, Bob.
-Huh?
-What, no Ben Folds Five?
-Oh yeah. Forgot about that one.
-Depressing song. Reminds me of my college roommate. What a sullen little bitch she was. Where did this happen?
-Down at the beach. North of Wildwood. Bunch of kids.
-Really?
-Senior week.
-Huh. Well, that sure spoils a vacation.
-Don’t it though? These are our lives and times.
-Patient conscious?
-Yeah. He’s stable. Police are with him. Parents too. Father wants to move him to Penn.
-What?
-Kid’s dad is a doctor there.
-No kidding?
-Nope. And get this, he’s also attending neurosurgeon at Children's too.
-Wow.
-Yeah.
-Other injuries?
-Hand laceration. There was buck knife involved. Patient managed to grab it from one of his attackers then they hit him with the brick.
-Oh my God.
-Yeah.
-Good for him.
-Yeah. About the only thing.