KIERAN SHEA’s fiction has appeared in dozens of venues including Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine, Thuglit, Dogmatika, Word Riot, Plots with Guns, Beat to a Pulp, Crimefactory, and Needle: A Magazine of Noir ...as well as in some beefy-looking anthologies most of which will make you question the tether of his shiny, red balloon. To his self-deprecating astonishment he's also been nominated for the Story South’s Million Writers Award twice without sending the judges so much as a thank you note. He co-edited the satiric transgressive fiction collection D*CKED: DARK FICTION INSPIRED BY DICK CHENEY and his debut novel KOKO TAKES A HOLIDAY is out now from Titan Books. Kieran divides his time between 38°58′22.6″N- 76°30′4.17″W and 39.2775° N, 74.5750° W.
Enough. Whoever came up with these things that I see almost everywhere nowadays in traffic, good for you. Please do the rest of the American public a favor--bank your cash and gently ease this vanity trend away from the market. To those who have them, several questions...first and foremost being...what the hell happens when someone in your "family" croaks? Y'all just brake out the razor blade and scrape the image of "Sparky" or your husband off of the window? For that matter, how does divorce work? Oh, wait. Now, I remember the death thing. I saw two child figurines with little halos on them. Sad story, but who's the real sick bastard here, me or you shoving your look-at-me-tragedy-come-dogma down my throat when I'm trying to make a left into 7-11 to pick up a coffee? Christ, and really, a stick figure? Isn't that underestimating your slop-gutted girth a bit? What're we, the last &*%$# descendants of the Chumash tribes? Why would anyone buy this crap? Oh, and by the way, for psychopaths stalking your loved ones, isn't this akin to waving a flank steak at a starved jackal?
Posted by Kieran Shea at 4/17/2012 04:19:00 PM