I was going to use today's blog post to rail against everything that's wrong about this holiday, you know, people who use clovers instead of shamrocks to leverage marketing ploys, jackass bar owners who advertise drink specials like “Car Bombs”—which is about as sensitive as offering a drink called “Macheted Children” in Rwanda...mutton-chopped leprechauns who look like the cartoon at left and its racist-"Irish Sambo" underpinnings. But the news out there is too grim, the din of the idiots too twisted, the savagery of the misdirected too selfish, and the pain and the loss freakin' ready to snap the bone. Maybe Yeats was right. It's getting so the falcon cannot hear the falconer.
To tell you the truth, I would have made a great stand-in for St. Padraig...no qualms whatsoever about driving the snakes out of anywhere, just give me the weapons and means. You think I'm joking? Try me. Right now I'm POSITIVE that I have the pluck to dim the tide with lakes of blood. Here, I'll unscroll my list for you. Don't be scared. There. You see? Pretty big list, right? Of course it is! Yes...they're on there and so are those jerks and definitely those evil bastards. What's that you say? You have a few names you'd like to add and want to ride along? Sure, no problemo, amigo, but my boy Cúchulain is riding shotgun and James Connolly has the grenades, so do me a favor, OK? Take the 50 caliber in the turret. Pearse can't shoot straight and he has issues.
Have a safe and gentle holiday.
KIERAN SHEA’s fiction has appeared in dozens of venues including Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine, Thuglit, Dogmatika, Word Riot, Plots with Guns, Beat to a Pulp, Crimefactory, and Needle: A Magazine of Noir ...as well as in some beefy-looking anthologies most of which will make you question the tether of his shiny, red balloon. To his self-deprecating astonishment he's also been nominated for the Story South’s Million Writers Award twice without sending the judges so much as a thank you note. He co-edited the satiric transgressive fiction collection D*CKED: DARK FICTION INSPIRED BY DICK CHENEY and his debut novel KOKO TAKES A HOLIDAY is out now from Titan Books. Kieran divides his time between 38°58′22.6″N- 76°30′4.17″W and 39.2775° N, 74.5750° W.