I want to try something.
Any of you who actually cruise this dreck, I want you to come up with the best way to kill off a character I've developed.
The reason why I'm killing this dude is because I want him gone from my subconscious. I want him vanquished, erased, 86ed. He's too much of a distraction and I want to work on other things.
You have the contract. You carry out the hit.
Yeah, people have told me he has lots of potential (personally I dig his amoral complexities), but there's too much at stake for me to be hung up on someone who, deep down, I do not trust as a writer and who's less than sympathetic on the whole.
The whole exercise is a tad ego driven, but I don't really care. If no one answers I'll kill him myself.
So here's the plan. This Thursday 9/3/09 I will post this character's last story. A small town newspaper photographer, he originally appeared in So & Smith's Thrilling Detective - a cat by the name of Andy Caruthers.
I want a method for his demise. And I want something good. Three or four lines is all I'm asking, and I will work it in as a post-script somehow or just a blog post. Stepping in front of a car, meh, not what I'm after. "He gets shot."--don't even go there. Make it ridiculous, make me laugh, and you win a prize. Winner gets a drink at Bouchercon '09 or the next time (if ever) we meet. Hell, I might just mail you $5 to cover the micro draft of your choice. I will give you the weekend to mull it over. Tack your method of choice on the end of the story tomorrow via the comments. Got it? Good.
See you Thursday, killers.
KIERAN SHEA’s fiction has appeared in dozens of venues including Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine, Thuglit, Dogmatika, Word Riot, Plots with Guns, Beat to a Pulp, Crimefactory, and Needle: A Magazine of Noir ...as well as in some beefy-looking anthologies most of which will make you question the tether of his shiny, red balloon. To his self-deprecating astonishment he's also been nominated for the Story South’s Million Writers Award twice without sending the judges so much as a thank you note. He co-edited the satiric transgressive fiction collection D*CKED: DARK FICTION INSPIRED BY DICK CHENEY and his debut novel KOKO TAKES A HOLIDAY is out now from Titan Books. Kieran divides his time between 38°58′22.6″N- 76°30′4.17″W and 39.2775° N, 74.5750° W.