KIERAN SHEA’s fiction has appeared in dozens of venues including Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine, Thuglit, Dogmatika, Word Riot, Plots with Guns, Beat to a Pulp, Crimefactory, and Needle: A Magazine of Noir well as in some beefy-looking anthologies most of which will make you question the tether of his shiny, red balloon. To his self-deprecating astonishment he's also been nominated for the Story South’s Million Writers Award twice without sending the judges so much as a thank you note. He co-edited the satiric transgressive fiction collection D*CKED: DARK FICTION INSPIRED BY DICK CHENEY and his debut novel KOKO TAKES A HOLIDAY is out now from Titan Books. Kieran divides his time between 38°58′22.6″N- 76°30′4.17″W and 39.2775° N, 74.5750° W.


FFBs: Memoirs of a Caddy

Do you have a mundane task that frees your mind to come up with ideas or work out writing problems? Nowadays I find mowing the lawn is the best option for me with raking leaves a close second. Not so long ago when I was working full time as a chef, prepping mise en place was clutch for the creative process. But, by and large, the best place I ever wound down thoughts is long past from my scope of options. Simply the best job I ever had...being a caddy. Looping. I swear to God, no Caddyshack b.s. here...we actually called a round a loop. If I had a time machine right now I swear to you I would go back, skip college, and attend professional caddy school.

Manasquan River Golf Club was my Bushwood...the place where I learned what loyalty is b/w pals. Where I learned how to hold my drink, gamble at the track, and choose my fights carefully. Where I learned petty larceny and a little weed won't kill you and which members of the club were cheating on each other. Back then it was ten bucks a bag (plus tip) for a four hour loop--now it's, like, fifty bucks a bag--if you can find some kid to carry your bag. Good luck on that front because kids today don't want to take four hour walks and lazy hackers piss and moan for a cart. Met guys like Jack Livingston (caddy master-gold standard), Tucker, Housen, Brooksy, Billy Soo, Johnny Rowboat, and we all cursed that smelly-scheming bastard, Snaggletooth.

Hence, Friday's forgotten book MEMOIRS OF A CADDY by David Noonan. To quote Amazon..."Noonan's first novel is a coming-of-age story with an unexpected, tragic commentary on the harsh realities of life. Brothers Jim and Matt Mooney have been brought up in a strict Catholic home in a New Jersey suburb." Don't know if David Noonan wrote anything else, but Christ on was like reading my life story.