Be advised. Anthony Neil Smith not only challenges the status quo as a crime novelist, he is also one of the toughest gatekeepers on the planet. Last Fall when "Doc Noir" broadcasted the concept of a special PLOTS WITH "RAY" GUNS issue, I was simultaneously stoked and intimidated by the challenge. I'd never attempted a piece set in the future, and Smith's call for transgressive noir set in the year 2509 was too much of a dare to pass up. So, I got cracking. I sweated over a story about asteroid miners for several weeks and, feeling confident, sent it off. Smith's response? "Too sci-fi." Hmm. Not one to quit readily, a few months later I tried again--this time a cold-hearted yarn referencing euthanasia, poisoned citrus, and a pulse-nuked San Antonio (for good reason). Again, Doc Noir gave me the proverbial high hat. "Not 500 years in the future, more like 50." D'fuuuuuuuuck? So, then I thought, wait a second...maybe I've been going about this futuristic business all wrong--maybe what I really need to do is go all gonzo, drop my pants, and wag my junk in the wind. Hence-- my ragged, little contribution to the special May issue and my third story in PWGs : "Koko Takes a Holiday" Phew! Thanks for putting up with me, my typos, and for pushing back, Professor. See you in Indy.